The Day Today quotes now available on Facebook and Twitter!
WELL, YOU'D BETTER LOOK FOR IT.
THIS IS "THE DAY TODAY". STILL TO COME -
CONTROVERSY OVER NEW TREASURY APPOINTMENT...
HAS PLUNGED SOUTHERN EUROPE
INTO CRISIS BY KIDNAPPING CRETE
- WILL YOU REMOVE IT?
- I'M NOT MARRIED, ALAN.
STUCK ON A TRAIN BECAUSE A SIGNAL
GOT JAMMED BY A BIRD.
I FIGURED "JAILHOUSE ROCK" WOULD BE APPROPRIATE.
AND WHAT THE DRIVERS FEAR MOST OF ALL IS
A HEAD-ON COLLISION WITH A BLIND TUBE MAREL
IT COULD BE CHESTER JOHNSON.
HE'S GOT A DOG. WE'D BETTER CALL A SHEPHERD.
AND A FEW MOMENTS AGO,
WE RECEIVED THIS AMATEUR FOOTAGE,
A CRASH HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SEVERAL WEEKS.
SO FAR, IT'S INVOLVED 9,OOO VEHICLES,
IT'S HORRIBLE. REALLY AWFUL.
BACK TO YOU IN THE STUDIO.
AT THIS FALLOPIAN FACTORY,
PEOPLE COME FOR A CREDIT-CARD CONCEPTION.
THERE ARE ALWAYS CASUALTIES IN WAR.
THERE WAS A FAMILY IN THE BACK ROOM.
IT'S OK, MR HENNETY. JUST A LITTLE MISUN...
IS THIS COOL?
ALAN, IT'S RAINING ITS ARSE OFF OUT THERE.
SOMEHOW - AND IT'S NEVER KNOWN
TO THIS DAY - A PIGEON HAD GOT IN
STARTING IN THE SOUTH-EAST - DRIZZLY
IN THE MORNING, LIKE WAKING UP NEXT TO A CORPSE.
HAPPENED TO STRIKE IN TIME
TO EACH SMASH OF THE BAT.
HE WAS VERY JOKEY AND JOLLY, AND I REMEMBER
A LITTLE SIGN BEHIND HIS HEAD -
THEN HE CAUGHT HIM BETWEEN THE EYES.
IT WAS HORRIBLE. FOOM!
WHICH TORE THE HORIZON FROM ITS MOORINGS.
WE ARE BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW
THE ROTTEN EGG OF AN ANGRY POLITICAL GOOSE.