- ARE YOU REALLY 33 YEARS OLD?
- 33. THAT'S RIGHT.

POLICE THEN ISOLATED THE AREA CONTAINING
THE DOG AND TOLD THE PUBLIC TO CLEAR OFF.

WELL, YOU'RE GAGGING FOR IT, CHRIS, SO HERE GOES.

"THE DAY TODAY" - NEWS FELTCHL

CAMPAIGNERS ARE CALLI NG FOR I MMEDIATE ACTION.

THE MARVELLOUS SCENE BY THE FIRE.

AND OFFERS A RANGE OF HISTORIC REMEDIES
AT 21ST-CENTURY PRICES.

IT'S STANDARD PRACTICE
AT EVENTS INTERNATIONAL TO INTERTEXTUALISE...

NUCLEAR EXPERTS VISIT SCHOOLS
AND THE CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT SONGS

ONE OF THE PEOPLE HE'LL BE
DOING THE KILLING TO IS RADIO 1 DJ MARK GOODIER.

- OW!
- GOOD.

THIS IS COLIN PIPER BIDDING YOU GOODNIGHT.
GOODNIGHT.

THAT'S IT. GOODNIGHT.

ASK ANYONE WHAT THEY THINK
OF BRITAIN'S PUBLIC BUILDINGS

TED MAUL HAS THAT STORY REPORTING.

UM, ONE MORE THING -
IT'S A GREAT MODEL, IT GOES LIKE A BOMB...

YES... YES...

WITH "THE DAY TODAY"
INTERNATIONAL NEWS ROUND-UP.

- WHO DID THIS TO YOU?
- I DIDN'T SEE.

TIME FOR SPORT WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE.
THAT COMMENTARY WAS BRILLIANT LAST NIGHT.

MAKE THE INCISION ALL THE WAY ROUND HERE
AND THE OTHER SIDE,

AND LEICESTER MAN WINS RIGHT TO EAT SISTER.

IF A WOMAN WANTS THE PAIN,
IF SHE WANTS TO SCREAM, SHE CAN.

THERE WAS A MAN, A FRIENDLY MAN,
IN A SUIT, WITH GREY HAIR.